I always knew our cousin Angela was a chocolate addict. But for her wedding? Yes, she’s dressing the girls in chocolate, and much as I hate to admit it, the color is wonderful on all of them.
My sister’s little one, the flower girl is wearing the Susanne Lively light blue and chocolate flower girl dress, the kind with the wide, foofy skirt and a scrumptious blue top. And my oldest girl as a bridesmaid gets the grown up look with an A-line chocolate special occasion dress that has blue beading at the waist.
Had to laugh at the shower last week. The matron and maid of honor were grousing that their dresses didn’t look as good, and maybe they should hold out for something better. But I guess Angela gets the last laugh, because I wouldn’t have believed chocolate was a wedding color. Now, if I could only forgive her for being able to eat chocolate for breakfast lunch and dinner without gaining weight.
]]>Outside of the day she gets married, I don’t think there is a more important occasion when a girl looks pretty, than on her First Communion. Not that it’s a day when appearance is the prime focus, but traditionally a girl dresses for the symbolism and to please herself and her parents.
That’s why my sister let her oldest girl do the choosing of her First Communion dress. She didn’t put a lot of restrictions on her either, which was really nice. This was her day and not Mom’s.
So Amy chose an Us Angels dress - a short sleeve style in satin and organza. It has that nice illusion neckline that will let her wear the same necklace her mother wore for her First Communion. (I know, I coveted that necklace!) And much to our surprise, she went the old fashioned route and asked for the gloves and veil, too.
Sigh…they grow up so fast. Too fast sometimes. But at least she has the same good taste as her Auntie!
]]>I don’t know about you, but I’m just the teensiest bit behind on the Christmas shopping. Okay, teensy is a relative term, but you get the drift.
I don’t do gift certificates unless I’m really desperate. And honestly, I do try through the year to lay aside things when I see them. Especially the stuff that you know someone is really going to need. I came across this pedometer for strollers while my brother’s wife was still pregnant. She’s a fitness buff and I know she’ll use it once the baby is here. The last thing I wanted was to try and order it after Christmas as a shower gift and find out they were all gone.
Then I decided all the little ones in the family would get a bank this year. Although I might have to get my aunt one too, since she collects piggy banks. And, she’s gone back to college! At 60, no less. I think that’s terrific, but she’ll be saving her pennies for tuition, too.
You can’t go wrong with stuffed toys either, and the Webkinz are just the best. They are so funny. Plus, they’re well made and dependable. Oh, and the older kids that use a computer, can go to their site and enter a secret code to find the virtual version of their pet, and play online with it, too. Good, clean fun all around.
]]>I love going over to my sister’s place. It makes me appreciate how much I’ve learned about parenthood to see someone in a permanent frazzle like I used to be. Okay, so it’s just nice to see someone else suffer for a change.
That’s why I was surprised to have her drop in here early one morning with her youngest in tow. Not that she isn’t welcome or doesn’t visit. But with two girls, one in school, she just doesn’t do mornings. Claims she doesn’t have the time. Wuss.
I poured her a coffee and went back to my laptop. She was chugging it down like this was the first oasis in the desert. “Dresses,” she croaked. I looked at her and waited for the caffeine to kick in. “Cousin Angela’s wedding. Flower girl dress. Out of luck.”
It so happened I was on a celebrity gossip site at the time, and hadn’t seen my five-year old niece come up to my elbow. “Tacky,” she pronounced. I think she got the speech pattern from her mother, but I have to admit she had good taste and some stars didn’t.
“So what do you need?” I asked the air between mother and child.
“Something good that will do for more than one occasion.”
“Pretty.”
I pointed to the coffee pot, while the flower girl-to-be wandered off. I should solve all my problems so easily. “Here,” I swung the laptop around to face her. “Us Angels, satin and tulle, she’ll look like a princess.”
“Mmmmm.” First look. “Mmmmmmm!” Second look. “This is nice. But a little cool for December?”
“Satin cape there, too. Or a white shawl, you decide. My fashion consultant’s bill is in the mail.”
“What about shoes?” she asked, not quite trusting her good luck or my good taste.
“I already have shoes!” the flower girl chirped. And there she was in the doorway, wearing my red stilettos with the rhinestone bow and ankle strap.
My sister’s eyebrows rose at least an inch. “And where did our Auntie wear those?” she smiled sweetly. I grabbed my cold coffee and started chugging myself, wondering what the dangers were of telling her they belonged to my husband.
]]>It’s the annual run up to Christmas and as any parent knows, that means the Christmas catalog has to be duct taped to keep it together for another few weeks. Whether it’s just the general excitement and anticipation, or the unfortunate combination of tired parents and kids, there is nothing worse than seeing a child of any age kicking and screaming in a store because they want something and right NOW! Of course it doesn’t just happen at this time of year, but often enough that you have to wonder why.
Generosity is a difficult concept to teach. In our family, we were always encouraged to express what we would like to have, and told that Santa would try to bring us one thing we really wanted, and some other gifts. Because if everyone wanted the same things, then the elves wouldn’t have a chance to make enough for the whole world. So Santa would go down his lists and make sure everyone got something that was important to them. It worked for us, and it’s working for the next generation too.
I’ve always believed in teaching my children the value of giving and the courtesy expected when receiving. They’re young yet so the concept of other children not having toys is a difficult one. That Santa might not visit everyone is even worse. We’ve covered that by explaining that Santa lets other children who have more than some, become Santa’s helpers by donating toys that they don’t use anymore. By choosing one or two that are in good condition, and donating it to a group who makes sure they are clean and gift wrapped, it gives them a sense of being part of the giving, and for me, that’s a pretty good start.
]]>A friend of mine is the single mother of one adorable little girl who is three. At least, she was adorable up until recently. Then her mother found that things were getting out of control.
What made it especially hard is that Susan works and doesn’t have a support system for every night that she goes home. That means getting off work, picking up her daughter at daycare, then going home to make supper, clean up, all that fun stuff you wish would go away at the end of a long day. And on top of it, she’s suddenly found she has a demanding toddler on her hands.
It’s not that Cassie is insecure, but she clings and whines and then cries, so by the time dinner is ready they are both upset. The little time that they had together at the end of the day was being spoiled by a clash of wills and needs, as in need to eat and need to get work done along with the need to connect for both of them.
So for a while she planned very simple dinners that took little preparation, and gradually eased Cassie into a routine of sitting at the table with a coloring book or other special toys reserved for that time, and talking. Not that she always stayed there. Sometimes it was ten minutes and she was off to the toy chest. But she learned that her mother was available if she wanted her, and that security made them both a lot happier. That made the times when they could sit down together to do things like shopping for new clothes a lot more fun.
]]>I don’t know about you, but I’m the kind of parent who believes they should get value for their money. But balancing that with quality isn’t always easy. That’s why I’m constantly on the lookout for great sales that can deliver both.
Whether it’s for the next season or the next special occasion, believe me, a little advanced planning can save you a lot of time, money and hassles. Last Spring I picked up a darling pair of Sucre d’Orge velvet pants that will fit my youngest for the holidays. Their Heart tights were on sale too, so her older sister got some for her holiday outfit.
I got some things for my brother’s boys as well. You can’t go wrong with sweaters when it’s coming up to winter.
It’s really not a big deal to think ahead. The money you save on little extras and gifts, can be put toward that one really special outfit that can’t be found on sale.
]]>I look forward to Thanksgiving dinner with Mom and Dad and all the siblings and kids. I do. I really, really do. And I figure if I say that long enough, I’ll convince myself that I mean it.
It’s not the dinner, or the company, or even Uncle George’s false teeth antics, it’s the getting everyone ready. The first winter I had two children, I thought the snowsuits, boots, mitts, etc was a nightmare. Well, it’s nothing compared to getting a whole family dressed and ready to go for a special occasion.
I found two keys to success were planning ahead, and getting ready way before we needed to, which allowed time for excuses (kids), accidents (me), and lost clothes (husband).
It’s not like you don’t know that ___ (insert occasion) isn’t coming, but if you procrastinate, you’re only piling pressure on yourself, and setting the whole family up for a miserable start to the day by being in a bad temper when things go wrong. So I sit down way ahead and do some shopping for the girls. Once I located what I wanted, I let our oldest choose her own. She went for the funky stuff and asked for a Lili Gaufrette Bright Pink Dress. That was fine with me. After all, it’s not dinner at the White House. And for our little one, who already shows an inclination for the feminine frills, an Amacello Lace Bodice Dress.
Let’s just hope the older one’s outfit survives, because I see her sister eyeing it as a hand-me-down.
]]>If there is one thing I learned when my daughters were young. It’s that there are no hard and fast rules, just the best options and common sense for dealing with the things that come up as our kids are growing up. Books are great for providing references and food for thought, but every child is an individual. What is right for one, does not work with the next child. Discipline for boys and girls differs not because of their gender, but because of the issue you’re addressing, like temper tantrums.
What I found hardest to deal with was the frustration of balancing the rest of my life and obligations with this added stress. Not that they did it that often, but when you’re a working parent coping with a job, home life and child care, it’s really hard to put up with the screaming and kicking. I was unhappy, my little one was unhappy and we both really needed a break.
I got a cute time-out chair, that was just theirs, and where they knew what was expected of them when they used it. If they calmed down, they were allowed to color or bring a toy to the table. That set got a lot of use at times, but it was literally a lifesaver.
]]>I remember when my sister’s daughter was born. She was determined that no girl child of hers was going to become a tomboy. It took a great deal of willpower, but I managed to restrain myself and just smiled. Because I knew someday she was going to lose that battle.
She didn’t realize how active and energetic toddlers can be. Or how much energy it takes for Mom to keep up with them. It has nothing to do with girls being unfeminine. At that age, gender and what one should or shouldn’t do, has no relevance whatsoever. Especially when you are trying to save your sanity.
So when the time came, I suggested what I had done with my own children – enroll her in toddler gymnastics. There’s nothing wrong with a girl having the same romping fun as boys, and in a structured environment, they learn to do it safely while playing with others.
There are a whole lot of benefits as well, including improving their coordination, learning to socialize, and hopefully getting them into a habit of being fit and active from an early age. It’s not like they need special clothes, either. A cute little romper set and they’re good to go.
]]>I remember when my oldest daughter was little, and into her curious phase. Which she hasn’t outgrown yet, despite being an adult. One day, it started with “Why do girls wear dresses and boys wear pants?”
That’s when I made my first mistake. I actually tried to answer her directly, fishing up some details from a long-forgotten history course. “Well, at one time, we all wore the same thing. Way back in cave man days, when the first men learned how to tie the skins of animals together and drape them around themselves, it was sort of like a dress.”
“Why?”
“Because that was all they knew how to do.”
“What are cave man days?”
“That was a long, long time ago.”
“You mean, when Granma was little?”
“Way before Granma was born.”
“Well, it’s not long ago now, and Jeffrey has pants. How come he gets to wear them and I don’t?”
The waters were getting deep, and I was treading carefully. Even as the mother of three, I still found myself floundering. “But you do have pants, sweetie. And those pretty tops to go with them. So you have the best of both worlds. You get to wear dresses and pants!” I was feeling pretty pleased with myself for coming up with an explanation that even a child could understand. The feeling lasted for all of 60 seconds.
“Maybe Jeffrey would like to wear a dress, too. I’m going to go ask him.” And off she ran next door. I laid my head on the table, sighed, and waited for a call from Jeffrey’s mother.
]]>Sometimes I wonder how much credit our girls are given for “smarts”. I don’t necessarily mean their scores on a physics test, but their curiosity about the world and how things work. Taking stuff apart and putting it back together isn’t the sole province of boys, at least not when girls are given a chance to get their hands on the tools they need.
Educational toys aren’t just for the boys anymore, although at one time it seemed like their subject matter was directed towards “he-man” stuff. Besides the traditional girl activities (which still have a value) like play cooking or dress-up, there are a whole host of toys and activities that will stimulate their imagination from an early age.
From dinosaur models, to rock tumbling machines, magic kits and junior telescopes, there is a world waiting for them out there with learning tools that are appropriate for all ages.
Maybe your daughter would like to imitate Mom or even Dad’s interest in photography. Digital cameras for kids are inexpensive and if you do your research carefully, you’ll end up with a gift they’ll love, and one that will give you both some quality time and fun, together!
]]>Once you get past the annual boom of babies amongst your friends, comes the Christenings. I went to one for a friend not long ago, and of course the baby was center stage as they should be. But their “star”was dimmed by one of the events you pray won’t happen. The little darling upchucked on her Christening dress.
Mom, was frantic of course. We were at her mother-in-laws and she hadn’t brought another Christening outfit. (Well, who needs a spare, after all?) While they were clustered around the now loudly protesting baby, I passed Mom my gift, which was a wonderful little Sophie Dess number that would replace the froth and lace. Not to mention that morning’s breakfast. Then I took the dress off to the kitchen where I knew she kept stuff in the closet.
Baby formula is basically protein. It needed to be taken care of right away if there were ever any more children to wear the dress. A quick rinse to get off the leftovers, a squeeze and I rolled it up and laid it by the sink. This wasn’t the time to remind her not to wash a protein stain in warm water or it would set, so I taped a note to her bottle of enzyme cleaner and left it beside the dress.
]]>I was having coffee with my sister the other day, and she was sitting there shivering as she looked through a children’s wear catalog. Despite having a coffee in one hand. When I asked her if she needed more sugar in it, she made a face and replied, “It’s not my coffee, thank you very much. It’s Allie. She’s in that not a baby, not a junior phase and she needs some clothes for autumn. The weather is getting cool in case you hadn’t noticed.”
Well, I had of course. But why make her day? So I asked what she was looking for. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. She always mumbles when she has no idea. “Something warm. You know, a blouse or top isn’t enough and a coat is too much.”
“Sweaters,” I nodded sagely. “But not cardigans. For dress-up yes. Church, visiting Mom. But try pullovers or hooded sweaters. They’re great for playing in outside, or for grabbing at the last minute and stuffing in a tote bag, just in case.”
“She wants ‘nice’ clothes.” My darling niece’s mother sighed and took another of those luscious double chocolate chip cookies off the plate. I reached for another myself before the bounty was gone. “They are nice,” I told her. “You can get her favorite color, there are sweaters with cute designs like cats, and you can even show her the sweaters online and let her choose from the ones you like.”
Just then, the four-year old subject of the conversation came wandering into the room. Wearing a cardigan. “You ate all the cookies.” She glared at us both and stomped off. Kids.
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